Alternative Dating: Is The Spanking Scene Right For You?


Long before Madonna released Hanky Panky, which extolled the sexual delights of sexual spanking, many adults realized that a little fire on the backside could light a big fire up front. Even people who have never tried it admit to having the fantasy of spanking someone or being spanked. There are several alternative dating scenes that cater to spankers and ‘spankees’.

Before you jump wholeheartedly into the alternative dating scene, though, it’s important to know what you really want. For instance, some alternative dating scenes are simply for adults who want to give or take a spanking without strings attached. Other alternative dating scenes involve age play, with the spanker pretending to be a stern parent or teacher and the spankee pretending to be a child. Still other alternative dating scenes up the pain quotient with canings, whippings, and bondage.

Another type of alternative dating scene is the domestic discipline scene, where one adult partner gives the other adult partner control of the relationship. The adult partner who is in control may choose to mete out spankings and other forms of discipline as he or she sees fit. An extreme version of domestic discipline is the master/slave relationship.

Staying Safe in the Alternative Dating Scene

The spanking community in any given location is usually fairly small and close knit. Most people know the others who play and will shun anyone who is a ‘top’ or the dominant partner who gets out of line, say by using more than the agreed upon force or ignoring a safety warning. If you are new to the community, ask around to find out who the safe, trusted players are.

If you are a bottom (submissive partner) or spankee, it is important to be very clear about your limits. You and your top should talk until you agree on a specific fantasy or scene you will do together. It’s usually a good idea to start low and go slow at first. Even experienced tops and bottoms should agree on a safety word, a word that the bottom can say that will immediately stop the scene. Since part of the fantasy for many bottoms is saying “No!” or “Stop!” as the spanking continues, the safe word should be something entirely different, like “roses” or “cat.”

If you are a top in the alternative dating scene, you need to learn to spank safely. Never strike your partner on the tailbone, which could injure the coccyx, or the lower back, which could damage the kidneys. Never use an implement unless you have practiced with it and are aware of the damage it can do, and of course never use an implement unless you and your bottom have agreed to it. Respect safety words instantly.

If you know what you want, and proceed with the utmost respect for your own and your partner’s wellbeing, there’s no reason why you can’t safely explore a spanking fetish in the alternative dating scene.


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